WUWW: You Don’t Have to Harden Your Heart to Be Strong

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While You Wait Wednesday

There’s a kind of strength that looks like walls.

You know the kind. It shows up after enough disappointment, enough loss, enough waiting with nothing to show for it. The world teaches us that if we just stop feeling so much, stop hoping so hard, stop being so open, we’ll hurt less. So we close off. We build up. We call it maturity.

But what if that kind of hardness isn’t strength at all? What if it’s actually keeping you from the very thing God is trying to do in your healing season?

In Week Two of The Healing Space, Dr. Lael brings a word that is simple, direct, and freeing: you can be strong without becoming closed off. In fact, real strength, the kind rooted in God, keeps your heart open and your feet steady at the same time.

When Survival Becomes a Habit

A lot of us learned to survive by hardening. It wasn’t a conscious decision. It happened gradually, one hurt at a time. Someone let you down. A prayer felt unanswered. A door stayed closed longer than made sense. And somewhere along the way, you started protecting yourself. You stopped expecting too much. You held people at arm’s length. You kept your faith quiet and your hope small.

That’s not weakness. That’s a very human response to pain. But here’s what Dr. Lael reminds us in this week’s teaching: survival strategies were never meant to be permanent. They were built for crisis, not for the long road of healing.

When you’re in a healing season, and that’s exactly what The Healing Space is about, the same walls that once kept you safe can start keeping out the very things you need. Peace. Connection. Hope. God’s voice.

What God’s Presence Actually Means for You

The anchor scripture this week is one that many of us have heard before, maybe even memorized. But Dr. Lael draws something out of it that hits differently when you’re in the middle of a waiting season:

"Be strong and courageous, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9

Notice what this verse doesn't say. It doesn't say "be strong because you've got it figured out." It doesn't say "be courageous because nothing will go wrong." The courage is connected directly to God's presence, not your circumstances.

That means the strength God is offering you isn't about performance or putting on a brave face. It's not about pretending the wait doesn't hurt or that the healing isn't hard. It's about knowing you are supported, guided, and held by someone bigger than whatever you're facing.
When your strength comes from that place, from His presence rather than your own defenses, you don't have to choose between being open and being safe. God's presence is your safety. Which means you can stay open. You can let things matter. You can still hope.

The Difference Between Protecting Your Heart and Closing It
This is one of the most important distinctions in this week's teaching, and it's one worth sitting with.
Protecting your heart is wisdom. Scripture actually calls us to it. (Proverbs 4:23 says to guard your heart above all else.) But guarding and closing are two different things. Guarding means you're discerning about what you let in and who you trust with the tender places. Closing means you've decided nothing gets in at all.

The first posture allows for healing. The second prevents it.
God isn't asking you to walk through this season naive or unprotected. He's asking you to walk through it with Him, which means you can stay present to your own life, your own grief, your own hope, because you're not doing it alone.

A Prayer to Carry With You This Week

God, help me to stay open without feeling unsafe. Teach me strength that flows from trust, not fear. Thank you for walking with me, God. Amen.

Watch Dr. Lael’s While You Wait Wednesday

Watch Week Two of The Healing Space

If this resonated with you, Week Two of The Healing Space is available now. Dr. Lael walks through this teaching live, and it’s exactly the kind of word you need if you’ve been white-knuckling your way through a waiting season.

Watch it, share it with a friend who needs it, and bring your reflection to our HOPErs community. You don’t have to navigate this season alone.

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Written by
Rev. Dr. Lael C. Melville

Founder, While You Wait Ministries